Bankers - hate em or hate em! Gotta read.

[Wot]

A MUST READ......

A 98 year old woman wrote this letter to her Bank Manager who thought
it amusing enough to have it published in The Times!

Dear Sir, I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I
endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, just
three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the
cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an
arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eighteen years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity,
and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the
inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the
manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant
financial ways!

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and
letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal,
overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My regular payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic,
but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and
confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be
aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to
open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your
chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in
order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows
about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or
her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and
the mandatory details of his/ her financial situation (income, debts,
assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due
course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must
quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28
digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses
required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press button
options will be available as follows:
1. To make an appointment to see me.
2. To query a missing payment.
3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7. To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer
is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the
Authorized Contact.)
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 8
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put
on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While
this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play
for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your
example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of
this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.
Your Humble Client

(Remember: This was written by a 98 year old woman!

[Fka200]

LOOOOOOL! GENIUS! Reminds me of the lady who got charged a freaking late fee for being under ONE PENNY on her cell phone bill! She got it all over the news, I am sure the cell phone company refunded her late-fee


Thanks for sharing this